Torn

Last night I went to Shepard's Bush, a borough of London just outside the center, to have dinner and go see a movie with some of the people in my program. (We saw "American Gangster" with Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. If you like mobster movies, this one is very good.) A couple of the girls live out there and always come in to central London to hang out, so it was time to go out there for once. Many of us also have some weird gloomy feeling, so while Spiderman was calling me from the comfort of my couch, it was necessary to get out.

I, too, am experiencing some of that gloominess. Some of it comes from this being Thanksgiving week, not being home with family, and having so much to do. (That one is pretty universal, I think.) I know others are struggling with missing boyfriends and girlfriends (not applicable to me), and some are just down because of the weather (we are experiencing the stereotypical dark, damp, gray London rainy skies and it's supposed to remain that way all week.) I know part of my gloominess is being completely excited to come home and see all my family and friends, and a complete and utter desire to hang on to this city I love so much. I love everything (well, almost everything) about London, and if I were English and my family lived in England or continental Europe and my friends were relatively close, I'd move here in an instant. There is always so much to do and see, there is history, culture, pop-culture, counter-culture, and life. But there is also something to be said for the much simpler life that Kansas and Iowa provide. There is also a LOT to be said for the people that I love and miss so much. I think part of my wanting to "stay" is also because I know that returning means the real world is calling me very soon. And although I'm happy to be done with the education portion of my life, I'm not all that excited to enter the other part. I know I don't really have a choice, but it still makes me nervous.

I'm going to do as much as I can in the next few weeks to have loads of fun, and still get everything done. You'll probably see a few more posts like these that aren't really insights about London, but more about the study abroad transitional experience.