Day Fifty-Nine: Angels Among Us

This week has been particularly difficult for me. The bar exam (as previously mentioned) is a monster, and you don't really realize how much time, energy, and of yourself you invest in it until it's over. I had to move the day after the bar exam in July, but then had a week and a half to calm down and relax and recuperate. Since this was the second bar and I was only taking half of the test this time, I somehow thought that I could sleep in the day after and be just fine. But as Wednesday wore on, I found I was completely wrong; I'm still "recovering" and it's late on Saturday night.

Fortunately, I've been blessed with incredibly patient and wonderful people who remind me that my PBSD (Post-Bar Stress Disorder) will not last forever and work hard to keep me calm until it passes. Sometimes, those people take the form of angels, bringing me messages from above that someone much bigger than anything I've faced is also on my side.

Day Fifty-Eight: Streaking in the Moonlight

Hey everyone! I'm back! I don't have all of my pictures with me at this time, so you'll have to check back in to see how the middle of the week shaped up. But for now, here is my picture for today!

This picture is actually the result of some great teamwork. Pete and I were on our way to Old Chicago to indulge in some of their "heavenly" nachos. As we pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car, anxious to both eat and warm up from the cold that has recently entrapped Lawrence, Pete's astronomer's eye caught Venus and the Moon in a perfect dance. He quickly pulled out his camera and attempted a shot. For some reason, the camera set the shutter speed at about 10 seconds, and after 5 or so, he got impatient and realized we needed to use the tripod. In an effort to get it out as quickly as possible (it was COOOOOOOOOOLLLLDDD), he handed the camera off to me, shutter still open. This is what resulted.

I guess you could say that this isn't actually my picture, but we decided that it "belonged" to the person holding the camera when the shutter closed. Voila! That's me! (Plus, he got a really sweet car picture earlier in the day.)

It's not quite clear from where all the streaks of light came; the red is the Old Chicago sign, the crescent in the middle that looks like God's thumbnail is the moon, and the streaks of yellow are probably some sort of street/ parking lot lights, but that's all I can tell. It's also a mystery why the lines aren't all moving in the same direction (see the upside down "V" at the top left of the picture? Notice that the arm of the "v" on the right is moving in a direction that doesn't fit with the rest of the picture. Weird.) But, regardless of what the content of the picture actually is, it turned out pretty sweet.

Day Fifty-Seven: It's just another story caught up in another photograph I found

Pictures of the past are always interesting. There are pictures of happier times, and pictures that capture moments we want to remember forever. There are those school pictures where we plastered our bangs up as high as they could go with using half a can of hairspray each day, and those pictures where our baby-fast clings to out chins, not quite ready to let our true selves emerge. Pictures can make us laugh or cry or want to run in the opposite direction. Regardless of how they make us feel, we can't deny that they are shadows of the past-- illustrating both who we were and how far we have come.

As I was poking around Pete's house the other day, I came across this picture that his Dad sent him for his birthday as "Memories of Birthdays Past". There were several pictures in the envelope from (approximately) birthdays 2, 8, and 14. It's fun for me to see the Pete I know today in these pictures from the past; it's a Pete I never knew, but the same wonderful, jovial, sincere, thoughtful person resounds from the ink and paper. And 29(ish) years later, I think he's still as cute as he was back then.

For those of you who were wondering, I never actually plastered my bangs up with hairspray. I left that to the other girls in my class. But baby-fat...oh baby...maybe someday I'll share those. Maybe not. :)

P.S. I have to give mad props to Jamie Cullum, the artist (and my absolute FAVORITE) from whom I stole the title for this entry. Thanks!

Day Fifty-Six: Letting Off Some Steam

Day Fifty-Five: The Greatest City in the WORLD

Day Fifty-Four: When Irish Eyes are Smiling

Day Fifty-Three: Swoosh!

Day Fifty-Two: Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, & Dodge

For several weeks now, Pete and I have been playing dodgeball in a league in Kansas City. Although it sounds childish and (because of the movie) slightly trendy, it's provided a great time with friends and an unexpectedly good workout. Depending on the team you are playing, the game can be anywhere from fierce to friendly; if you're playing our team, it's usually the latter of the two, depsite our best efforts to be ferocuious.

Pete caught the excitement of the whistle blowing a couple of weeks ago: a race to the center line and then back past the 10 foot line with the goal of getting someone out before they strike you. Today, I try and capture the excitement of the game itself. In the top righthand corner, you can see a ball whizzing over John's head in an attempt to take him to the bench. You can also see John's valiant effort to bring his team to victory. It's intense. It's relentless. It's dodgeball.

For those of you who are looking to join a league in the future, I highly encourage it. And remember what Patches said, it's all about the 5 "D"s: dodge, dip, duck, dive, and DODGE!

Day Fifty-One: Lawrence Coffee Shop Tour- Day 2 (the end)

An affinity for coffee is something you must acquire. Both the smell of roasting coffee beans and the taste of the black drink are, at first, overwhelming. But once you get a taste of coffee just the way you like it, you're usually done for.

Today I studied at Dunn Bros' Coffee. I don't often go here to study because their prices are a bit higher than everywhere else, and it's often BUSY. But I had to be on campus to meet some friends for lunch, and my time was best served by studying here. When I walked in the man (who I believe to be the owner of the establishment) was roasting some beans. I quickly asked him if I could take some pictures, and the rest is history.

This picture isn't quite clear, and I'm well aware of that. But part of the roasting process, one of the last steps actually, is to stir the beans to let them cool once they come out of the roaster. This is the step that I caught. The silver, curvy, streak is the remnants of the owner stirring up his beans, preparing them for sale, and the not so clear beans are those that have been moved to allow others to come up and take a breather.

Day Fifty: Virtue

I'll be the first to admit that getting a dog wasn't the best timing. Don't think for a second that I don't want Lucy that is far from the truth, but with the bar exam and the cold weather, I haven't been able to give her nearly the attention I've wanted to give her. The days keep adding up where I wish I could be with her out at the dog park or taking her on long walks or runs, but studying for the bar prevents me from answering even the most sympathetic whines.  Many days, I'm just able to "ignore" it; I'm at work, so I don't hear her during the day. Then Pete takes her to play with Farley, I go and study in the evenings, and pick her up to snuggle with her at night.  But the past two days, I've been working a lot from home where it's impossible to pretend I don't hear her whimpering.  Much of her time is spent sitting in front of our back door, looking out the window at a world where she wishes she can play. She is usually quiet, nudging me only for the occasional nose rub or belly scratch, and then goes back to keeping herself entertained.  For a dog, she possess an incredible about of patience (in some things), quietly waiting for a moment where I give her some love.

This virtue isn't limited to Lucy-- there are many people in my life who have been patiently waiting on me - for one thing or another-- to finish the bar and get back to normal life.  In under one week, I'll be able to play with her -- and anyone else who wants to "play"-- more than ever before, and I can't wait.  Until then, thank you for your patience and for sticking with me.

Day Forty-Nine: T-minus 4 days

As the bar exam draws nearer, the tension sharpens: tempers are on edge, and wits are at their end.  The tiniest little thing could turn you into a weeping baby, or incite you to laugh for hours.  Depending on how you are wired, you seek refuge in a variety of external stimulants; for some that's alcohol or fast food, for me, it's coffee and sugar.  This test has been looming over you since the day you started law school. It is the culmination of everything you are supposed to know, and although not representative of the practice of law (in the fact that while practicing, you should absolutely turn to your colleagues and treaties, encyclopedias, etc. before making any significant legal analysis), many jobs ride on the fact of whether or not you pass. Everything else stops while you are preparing. Yes, the bar exam is a time in your life unlike any other, and one that is absolutely impossible to understand unless you've been there.  

Based on that introduction, you probably think I'm crazy for attempting another exam in about a week, but truthfully, having passed one, it's MUCH less stressful the second time around.  I only have to take half of the exam, I know what to expect, my job does not depend on me passing.  Plus, the state of Kansas already confirmed that I somewhat know what I'm talking about-- confidence is half the battle.

A friend of my once pointed out to me that I am an organized mess: I can tell you whatever you need to know, but it whens come down to my living spaces, they are never well kept.  They aren't dirty...just cluttered.  And that situation is exaggerated and spreads to other places when busy times like these roll around.  The picture above is a snapshot of the items that have been filling my days the past few weeks, and will do so for the next four days.  Here is a list of those items...and the little quirks that go along with them.

Flashcards: This is one of the ways I learn best.  When preparing for the Kansas bar, I made flashcards for every single subject we studied.   Take 16 subjects multiplied by at least 3 hours of lecture on the topic (often more), and you will have a guesstimate of how many flashcards I made.  The cards in this picture are for evidence.  And if you're wondering what Rule 403 is, it says that "evidence that is relevant may be excluded when it's probative value is substantially outweighed by its prejudicial effect."   (That's paraphrased, but it's close enough.) Sweet, huh?

Highlighter: If this picture were from the summer study months, that would probably be highlighter 4 or 5, the predecessors whom I completely exhausted.  This time, it's still 4 or 5, but only because I keep misplacing the ones that I have.

Glasses:  When you study so much law for so many days on end, even things that are clear to normal people become fuzzy.  Some sort of corrective lens is imperative.

Notebook (on the right): The other way I learn a lot is just to write and write and write things down.   Colorful notebooks and pens keep things interesting.

Green Book: This book is the small review book for the class nearly all of us took last summer.  I kept it so that I could review for other bars.  During the summer, this book, and it's 5 companion books, were attached to my hip.  Since many of those specifically discussed Kansas law, I am no longer attached to them.

Blue Binder:  I am, however, attached to that blue binder which contains outlines for all the subjects on the final provided by the Iowa equivalent of BarBri.  They were passed on (borrowed from) to me by a friend who took the bar last July, and have been VERY helpful.

and finally...

Ear Plugs: (under the glasses) whether studying in a coffee shop, or at the actual test, the use of ear plugs helps to drown out the auxiliary noise that always seems to cause my mind to drift elsewhere.  On Monday, they were a nice barricade to the discussion of the pack of sorority girls that were sitting by me.

Tomorrow I resume my Lawrence coffee shop tour. Until then!

Day Forty-Eight: Sugar, Spice, and Everything nice

 Tuesday, I go with Pete to meet his friends to Burger night.  This is a tradition that started with him and his two roommates in 2003 and has been going pretty consistently since then.  Although not everyone is always able to make it, there are at least two or three who gather each week for juicy beef and playful banter.  I've been going regularly since January, and have been so welcomed into the event that I've invited a few of my friends.  Last night, much to my surprise, everyone gathered to, as usual, enjoy burger night, but also to wish me luck for the bar exam last week.  Pete made this ridiculously adorable cake for me, made a sign that encouraged me to "raze the bar", and provided me with a "ribbons of justice" crown (that looked curiously like the ribbon that recently came off of his valentine's day present).  It was a delightful evening--err, 1 hour study break-- and with the support I have, I feel like I can go in and blow his test away. :)

Day Forty-Seven: Lawrence Coffee Shop Tour- Day 1

The bar examination is one week from tomorrow, and I am kicking studying into high gear.  I'm a coffee shop studier, and have been doing most of my review at a coffee shop downtown called "Signs of Life".  Several of my "pictures of the day" have already come from Signs, as does today's. I've already commented on my affinity for the establishment (if the link doesn't work, see day seven), so I will resist the temptation to indulge once again except to note that above the coffee shop and bookstore is an art gallery.  I only recently learned that you can study up there, and you will now be hard pressed to find me anywhere else in the shop.  Tonight's picture is of a painting that is currently in the gallery. I love all the bright colors and it's "happiness" helps to keep my mood up when I get frustrated with Iowa property law.  The reflection in the window simply compounds the painting's effect. I just love it.

I'm calling this "Coffee Shop Tour" because, although I love Signs, I will most likely be hopping around from shop to shop in the next few days.   I'm taking Thursday and Friday off of work, so rather than being that creepy character who hangs out at one place 24/7, I'm going to lurk from shop to shop.  Expect my pictures over the next several days to reflect those shops....and the impending doom that is the bar exam. :)

Day Forty-Six: Pop Art

I'll write more later, but a quick disclaimer that this picture is in no way intended to be malicious toward Coach K.  (There's the lawyer in me). It's simply something I "found" and from which I ended up getting a pretty cool picture.  So, enjoy the visual aspect now; I'll fill in the literary blanks later.

Day Forty-Five: God Only Knows

Day Forty-Four: Frazzled

Day Forty-Three: Serenity Now!

Most of the time when people use the phrase "serenity now", they are referring to that now infamous scene from Seinfeld in which Frank Costanza learns to "de-stress" by screaming the words "serenity now" and shaking his hands in the air. As can be assumed from the irony which permeates Seinfeld episodes, yelling such a phrase does little actually bring Frank serenity.

I think that we can all relate to Frank in the need to find peace and serenity at different times in our lives. Each of us has a different way of finding that inner calm; mine often comes through a visit here: the St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center chapel. There are a variety of things that factor into why this place brings me peace-- the friends I have made through the center; the dark but warm atmosphere; the architecture and its symbolism; but most importantly, the physical presence of Christ overwhelms me and brings me back to center. This chapel has been the site of anguish-- but I always leave filled with hope, knowing the love of the Lord will conquer. This chapel has also been the site of much joy, and I hope that one day it will be the site where I will get married.

These sentiments are not solely mine; there are countless individuals who have come to know the Lord and themselves, and find profound happiness through the conversations they've had with the Big Guy and other individuals who help to make the Center what it is. One of the most difficult things for a KU and St. Lawrence graduate to experience is to find that same sense of serenity and belonging after they leave the community. St. Lawrence is a special place.

Unfortunately, I haven't been there as much lately as I have in the past. The combination of working (instead of being a student), studying for the bar, and doing my morning prayer at home (to use minutes that I would have to drive somewhere for sleeping) has limited my interactions with the center. But Pete and I are both RCIA sponsors via the Center, and that "obligation" (I use the term loosely because I enjoy going and it doesn't feel like an obligation by any means) ensures that I visit the Center at least once a week. Usually the stops are brief, but they are always wonderful.

If you're ever around 1500 Engel Road in Lawrence, Kansas, I encourage you to stop by and take in everything that is St. Lawrence. I could drone on and on about the architecture and how the twelve pillars that support the ceiling represent the 12 apostles, or how the floor is at a slight slope so that it is physically "easier" to come into the chapel and harder to leave, but I won't bore you with those details. You need to experience it, and the joy and peace that comes from building a relationship with God in his house, has to bring.

Day Forty-Two: Bottoms up (?)

In less than two weeks, I am once again subjecting myself to one of the most difficult tests in the country: the bar examination (this time in Iowa). I've been studying for several weeks now, but this go around with significantly less vigor than the first time. Although the combination of studying and working at the same time creates a different type of delirium than the first time around, I still wake up each morning pretty darn tired, often working hard to figure out which way is up. That feeling often looks like this...and at that point in time, I'm not sure which type of bottom should be up (coffee v. some other tantalizing beverage).

For those of you who are wondering if I'm planning on moving back to Iowa, the answer as of right now is no. Taking the exam at this point is simply a precautionary measure so that just in case something would happen that would require me to move back to Iowa, I could do so without any major hiccups. Because I've recently taken, and performed decently, on the multiple choice portion of the test, I can transfer that score and only take half of the test. Still...it's not a fun day. Wish me luck! (I'm sure you'll hear more about the impending exam as the days draw nearer.)

Day Forty-One: Signs of the Times

We've already relished the fact a couple of times that Topeka doesn't have a lot to offer a young whipper snapper like myself. But I often forget to bring my lunch and have to go find something delicious, and hopefully healthy, that downtown has to offer. Although I rarely eat fast or fried food (with the exception being burger night and every once in a while when I "need" to indulge), I've been to this McDonald's several times for their "premium" coffees (which are actually very good). Every time I go, I'm intrigued by the sign. I've always had a "thing" for the 50s, and although (while talking to someone who initially thought I was the insurance person taking pictures of her car) I learned that the sign was probably installed around 1970, I've always like it's retro feel. Complimenting the McDonald's sign is the Hanover Pancake sign, found in the parking lot adjacent to the McD's, that is definitely retro. So, yesterday when I needed a break from work and thought the best place to do that was outside in the warm 70 degree February Kansas air, I seized the moment and snapped a few shots. I have adjusted the pictures slightly to accentuate the colors and give them a little more of that retro feel, and in doing so, I think I found a great balance between nostalgia and reality; the picture looks slightly like it's drawn, but also like a photograph at the same time.

If you want to really reflect on the picture, I can give you some more talking points: what does the contrast of the McDonald's sign next to the Hanover Pancake house say about our times. And look in the background...you can see the Curtis building, a structure recently erected as compared to buildings that have been there for a while. Old v. new? Franchise v. Local? Heart v. Soul? Mind v. Body? Man v. Nature? Okay, now I'm taking it too far. Enjoy!

Day Forty: How High the Moon

If you're lucky, every couple of weeks, especially in the non-winter months, you get a sweet harvest moon like this. If you're even luckier, you get the chance to capture it.  Tonight, I was a lucky girl.    I'm not sure if it really does the moon's beauty justice, but it's certainly good enough to make my picture of the day.

"Somewhere there's music...somewhere there's heaven....how high the moon."

Day Thirty-Nine: Ebb and Flow

As all those who experience winter weather know, the salt and sand applied to the roads don't go away after the snow has melted and it has been brushed down the sewer; it lingers and continues to pester us by adhering to the sides of our cars.  This weekend was beautiful and provided the perfect opportunity to wipe away the gripe and grime.  This is a shot from the drivers seat of my car as the water is being propelled toward it, giving the car it's first bath of both the winter and its life and creating a a really cool effect on the windshield at the same time. 

Day Thirty-Eight: Little blue box

Show any girl a little box in this color, and they will instantaneously know what it is: a gift from Tiffany & Co.  The store has been romanticized throughout popular culture...in books, movies and songs, most notably by the indelible Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's."  Many girls dream of one day receiving such a box with a shiny piece of jewelry inside; I had a roommate in undergrad who would cut out the Tiffany & Co. ad from the New York Times and send it to her then boyfriend, now husband, everyday.  Those who make fake designer purses have taken to copying the designer jewelry to allow people to get the Tiffany feel at a significantly reduced price.  To receive a piece of Tiffany & Co. jewelry means that someone has taken a little extra time to think about you, and is putting forth an extra effort to let you know how much they care.

I can't say that I've ever craved Tiffany jewelry. Yes, I've browsed the website, but mostly in an effort to help a guy friend or two pick out something for their girlfriends.  I think the pieces they offer are timeless and would love to have one of them someday, but I have loan payments, car payments, and rent obligations that must be met, and know that most of my friends are in the same situation.  

But last night, I received one of those little blue boxes from Pete during our early Valentine's day celebration.  The box contained a set of exquisite earrings that I will wear often (most likely every day for quite a while).  I can't tell you exactly what I was thinking or feeling except that I was overwhelmed with joy...not so much because of the gift itself, but because of what it represented.  :)

(This picture was taken in the lobby of the Hyatt Hotel, where we had dinner, near crown center in Kansas City.  Check Pete's blog for a more thorough description of the evening and the stunning lobby....and a pretty sweet picture, too.)

Day Thirty-Seven: Hints of Spring

One of the best parts about living in Kansas is that even during the midst of winter, you can have one or two days of absolutely amazing weather.  Fortunately, God has blessed us with several of those lately.  When those days pop up, Pete and I like to take Farley and Lucy to the Clinton Lake dog park.  It's a place where we can let them run without a leash, play with other dogs, "do their business" where they will, and just generally get out and have a lot of fun.  Yesterday was one of those 70 degree days (yes, 70 degrees in the middle of February), so after work we hit the puppy park right around sunset. For purposes of selecting a "picture of the day", I've picked this one, but truthfully, I can't decide which picture I like better.  I love the picture of Lucy running out of the sunset, running right toward her mama (me), generally showing off her puppy dog smile (yes, dogs smile), and how I caught her in mid gallop when it appears she momentarily left the earth.  But two of the "creatures" (for lack of a more encompassing word that works for both man and dog) I love most in this world are together in this one, on top of the hill, with the sun setting in the background; every time I look at this picture, I realize how incredibly lucky I am.  I hope you enjoy them both as much as I do.

And one last little thing, I love Kansas, but Iowa is still, and forever will be, my home. :)

Day Thirty-Six: Iron and Light

Most places are decorated with items to embellish and enliven.   While not everything is successful in this vain,  sometimes  the items do exactly what they are supposed to do: embellish..  Yesterday, I was at a mini- legal conference thing and this chandelier, and about 5 others like it, lit the grand ballroom, hitting the head on the nail. Not only did these chandeliers tempt the eye from the angle from which they are meant to be viewed, but they also do a pretty good job this way, too.

Day Thirty-Five: mind trick

Sometimes when we get caught up in things, we focus on the details and fail to see the big picture.  Other times, the converse is true: when we're looking at the big picture, we fail to see the little pieces that are so necessary to the whole.   Looking far away, you can clearly see that this sign says "welcome"; up close you see the intricacy of the carving and how each stroke effects the outcome of the project.  Neither is more important than the other-- they are both essential to the whole--making the little wood greeting what it is.

In times of strife, we must remember that things aren't always as they seem from where we stand.  Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand.

Day Thirty-Four: Me, myself, & I

When I tell people about this project to take one picture a day for 365 days, one of their first questions is an inquiry about the content of the pictures.  Some tell me about similar projects they've seen, but the goal is for the photographer to find a way to take a picture of themselves every day.  Frankly, I find this fairly narcissistic, and let's be honest--yours truly is just not that interesting of a subject to subject you to 365 photos of moi.  But once again it was late, and after multiple failed attempts of capturing dancing shadows (literally), I had to go with this.  So, from now on, you can imagine me looking like this while taking every shot.  Yes, the shot isn't quite crisp and the mirror is a little dirty, but what in life is completely clear and clean cut?  So look beyond the dirt and the fuzz and the lens to find the girl behind the Canon just taking pictures, having a little fun, and trying to capture life as it is.

Day Thirty-Three: It's 3 a.m. I must be lonely

Today was another one of those last minute shots. After working, taking care of a sick Pete, studying for the bar exam, and preparing some food for work tomorrow, it was late evening and I was once again without a picture.  I feel like I've used up many of the last minute picture opportunities at my house, so I began thinking of other ways I could find an interesting picture.  First, I tried placing plastic wrap over the lens to see what kind of effect I could get; unsuccessful.  Then I went to the 3-D glasses still lying around from the Super Bowl on Sunday and placed one "lens" over the, well, my lens. The red one didn't do much, but the blue turned out pretty cool. This shot is actually the first photo I snapped with the blue filter and is entirely experimental both because of that, and because I really didn't intend to aim the camera at anything. I think it turned out okay.

No, I did not break the rules and actually  take this shot at 3:11 a.m....we just haven't reset the time on our coffee pot to read like it should. :)  But with the blue filter and the early morning hours on the clock, it captures the bleakness that is being up at 3:00 a.m. on a week night and, in the reflection of the flash on the chrome, how painful any bright light is at that time of the night. It also illustrates how necessary the coffee pot will be the next day. :) 

Day Thirty-Two: Party in a Bag

                                            

It seems appropriate that my picture for today should reflect on the great American tradition of the Super Bowl. Most years, the food -- chips, queso, homemade sweet treats, little smokies-- proves to be more interesting than the game, with the commercials fitting somewhere in between.  (I realize that for some, the game will never be more interesting than the commercials or the food.)  Fortunately, tonight's game was an unusual Super Bowl in that the game was, for the most part, interesting and exciting. You really did not know who was going to win until the final seconds.  As most games go, however, there are those moments when the seconds don't seem to tick fast enough. That's when we turn back to our friend, the Dorito bag, and reunite with its contents.  And that's when I turned back to the Dorito bag and snapped this shot. I wouldn't go so far as to say that this shot is artistic, but I hope it's a little more interesting than the standard Dorito's advertisement.

P.S. Your random Jeopardy tidbit for today: "Dorito" is Spanish for "little bits of gold". As a fan of the corn chip, I think this translation fits rather well. :)